Goodbye 22

2022 is the year ‘if women ruled the world it would be a better place‘ turned out a gloop of hooey.

Germany’s Angela Merkel, having retired from a distinguished career as Chancellor looking after Germany’s interests, and somehow absorbing tens of thousands of refugees, mused over her failure to follow through with her solution to stop an unnecessary war by having the leaders of each antagonist accept the one compromise that was there for the taking, Ukraine as a neutral state without NATO. She also said such a solution would help make the Ukraine stronger, and its army more efficient. In the Italian press she proffered how she treated the Minsk agreement as ‘preparation time’ to arm Ukraine for a conflict that NATO and the EU saw as inevitable and desirable. Thus she showed how the West is not to be trusted. Russians know that from bitter experience. That was why Putin lost patience. This was US policy, America would have none of any peace brokerage preferring instead to see the end of Russia by bankruptcy, in addition to families killed and infrastructure mangled in the Ukraine, a fate worse than Ukraine had managed to inflict on the Donbas region over many years.

In not so merry England, a woman actually chose to live with and bear children from a fat, lying, tosser of a very bad Churchillian impersonator, Boris Johnson, sealing forever as true the saying ‘there is no accounting for taste’. Or maybe it was the aphorism, ‘a woman’s love is like the morning dew, it can settle on a horse turd as easily as on a rose’. He resigned to give way to a woman, having conspired to see one out of office, a species he preferred to impregnate not promote.

In the same vicinity, Liz Truss showed how an oh-so obviously dumber than dumb ambitious individual could still be elected as the United Kingdom’s prime minister and removed from office in double-quick time when proved to be as intellectually stupid as any man. Men such as Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush Jnr had proved that before her. Nevertheless, England’s political ideology threw up a girdle of nasty women holding tight to far-right sentiments. Priti Patel and Suella Braverman two of the most prominent, both with Indian heritage that included savage imperial rule by Brits, and yet both intent on stopping legitimate asylum seekers from entering their xenophobic England, a glaring contradiction they appeared not to notice. Both were outdone in the Me-First-Stakes by a Scottish peer on the make, Lady Michelle Mone, who, using her elevated place in society to diss Scots and Scottish independence hopes, buggered off to Switzerland having ‘discovered’ £29 million of pandemic taxpayer’s funds in her bank account and that of her children’s trust.

Two female Labour MPs, destined to help form England’s next government, decided it was a good thing that the English needed to be free of Europen influence and laws, but Scotland should never be free of colonial England’s rule, Angela Raynor and Lisa Nandy, the latter avering Labour could save Scotland from the ‘terrible’ SNP Government and its ‘regressive ideology’. Any day soon politics watchers expect her to suggest the Brits made a terrible decision leaving India.

A military court in Myanmar found Aung San Suu Kyi guilty of incitement and breaking Covid restrictions, drawing condemnation from the US, United Nations, European Union and others august bodies, describing the verdicts as politically motivated. Those were the same who had disowned her and stripped her of all her awards for dedication to human rights because she appeared to curry favours with her country’s brutal, corrupt army, the real rulers of Myanmar, the same who deposed her in a coup, and now were making sure she would rot in jail until she died. Though she had proved a great advocate, a catalyst for her country’s lost democracy while incarcerated years under house arrest, it was clear she was not equipped to clean out an army of its racketeering assassins on her own. That needed a very large bomb dropped on the regimental barracks and any surviving general rounded up and jailed for life.

Latin America was not spared a woman’s disgrace. Argentina’s vice-president, a former president, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, was sentenced to six years in prison and given a lifelong ban on holding public office after being found guilty in a $1 billion fraud case related to public works. She was president of Argentina for two terms between 2007 and 2015. de Kirchner, known by her initials CFK, is unlikely to serve any prison time soon as she has immunity due to her government roles and is expected to launch a lengthy appeals process that could take years. At least a woman proved that once in government you had the law on your side no matter what idiocy, travesty or crime you committed. Lady Mone breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Brothers of Italy’ leader Giorgia Meloni claimed victory in a general election that installed her as Italy’s first female prime minister, leading the most far-right, boot-in-face government since the fascist era of Benito Mussolini. But that did not phase the current US administration. After all, back in the 1940s after the Second World War, the US had dispensed funds from the Marshall Plan to round up socialists and eradicate socialist groups and parties and install right-wing parties, rather than use the money to rebuild Italy’s smashed industries.

Scotland’s dominatrix Nicola Sturgeon proved with her GRA Reform Bill that pushing any old crap was better to achieve than Scotland’s self-governance, the one and only policy her party had been elected to secure. Worse, rumours persisted that, together with the odious paedophile organisation, PIE, the gender-bender legislation had a sinister sub-text, ultimately designed to bring down the age of sexual consent to a probable ten-years of age as part of the genital surveys she had conducted on bewildered Scots scrambling in woods looking for firewood to heat their homes.

Thus, every aristocrat and ever politician who hunted children for pleasure as some did grouse on Scotland’s moors would be freed from an inconvenient law condemning sexual predation, molestation and rape of the sexually immature, physically and mentally. Puzzlement increased over why a woman who seemed not to like men also did not like women, evinced in her ability to dismiss the justified protests of thousands of ‘We Won’t Wheest’ women objecting to fake females with beards and a penis allowed into female public toilets, hospital wards and prisons waving a certificate to prove they were a woman. They had noted that the infamous reptilian predator Jimmy Savile needed no certificate. He just did it while people looked the other way.

Everywhere else in the world, women remained subjugated by male-only governments and regimes, or if a democracy, generally relegated to second-class citizens fit only for child-bearing, By the end of the year, adherents of Internet social sites were treated to the bizarre video spectacle of a young man in his bedroom, dressed as a woman and wearing makeup, clutching his crotch and complaining of severe period pains. One can only hope that he seeks specialist therapeutic help, or marries a violent alcoholic man for the full-on experience of female emancipation and learns by it. Meanwhile a much-loved artist, who enjoyed dressing up as a woman and flouncing about in wild crettone dresses and wide-brimmed hats, was given a knighthood but did not complain he should have been made Dame Grayson Perry.

Finally, a female monarch who had presided over the entire United Kingdom and all its dominions and protectorates, shuffled off her mortal, well buttressed coil, Queen Elizabeth II. She first lay in state in Edinburgh’s St Giles’ Cathedral, a monumental symbol of austere Protestantism the exact opposite of the ostentatious life of wealth and luxury she had lived. “No one can replace her,” cried the crowd and the supplicating media, forgetting that she herself replaced an original Elizabeth, and was about to be replaced by her son Charles, the third owner of the title.

If there was a ray of hope for the distaff side it came in the form of youth, the new generation, a bright, intellectually fierce environmentalist called Greta Thunberg. Constantly berated and vilified by nasty misogynists for her speeches on saving Planet Earth, one particular man wrote to her boasting he owned a brace of powerful, loud exhaust cars with “enormous emissions” and he was not prepared to give them up, asking if she would like to see photographs. Reacting to his fetid machismo she replied “Yes, please do enlighten me,” adding, “Send pictures to ‘smalldickenergy@getalife.com'”. Greta Thunberg has no political office and yet a whale load of influence sufficient to ignite the insecurity of badass males.

As new year’s bells rang out their cry of alarm, dispelling hope and optimism, and the Earth fell apart from humankind’s over-exploitation motivated by greed, it was abundantly clear that homo sapiens had gone quite mad and the planet was doomed. It was true that man had never resisted committing every folly of which he was capable, a man pretending to be a woman a tiny example of the male ability to ignore approaching disaster that will certainly overtake him, and all men and indeed, all women.

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