A Creepy Scottish Government

Nursery accuses Humza Yousaf and wife of 'vendetta' as couple sue for  £30,000 | HeraldScotland
Humza Yousef, minister without discernable qualifications

The SNP’s love of creating as many squirrels to chase as possible rather than educate the populace to the benefists of self-governance, ready to enact independence at 55% support, sees a once victorious party turn on its own supporters and withdraw into the Dark Side of politics. Journalist Kevin McKenna thinks it is time to place a restraining order on their preponderance for concocting seriously flawed policies and their ‘creepy’ sexual curiousities. But they are not listening. Any dissent, even the mildest, is deemed illigitimate, to be burned at the stake. The SNP consider the electorate in terms of unionist derision – a bunch of whinging Jocks.


by Kevin McKenna

The record of anti-social behaviour by the SNP-Green coalition targeting the Scottish people is starting to give cause for alarm. Of equal concern is their tendency to gas-light the people when they react negatively to their social directives .

Do you have concerns about the economic threat to the north-east of Scotland by the SNP’s newly-discovered hostility to oil? Then, according to Patrick Harvie, you are guilty of belonging to the hard-right. Might you have some mild misgivings about what gender self-identification could mean for women’s rights? Then you’re a hate-filled transphobe. If you think Glasgow’s refuse-collectors are right to use Cop26 as leverage in their struggle for decency and respect, then think again. It could be that you’re actually a Unionist lap-dog who’s doing down Scotland.

In the sensitive area of family life and human relationships the SNP are beginning to display an unhealthy and creepy obsession. While eager to solicit the votes of working-class communities at elections, they spend the rest of the year treating them with suspicion and outright scorn. They’re Buckfast-swilling brutes who lack basic parenting skills and have a tendency to assault their children.

So, let’s make alcohol more expensive, criminalise smacking and deploy an army of Named Persons to be on the look-out for signs of neglect. This idea was first explored by Baroness and Baron Bomburst when they created the position of state Child-Catcher in that dark, psychological thriller, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Humza Yousaf, in his former role as justice secretary, recently considered going the extra mile in enforcing state control of how Scots behaved in the privacy of their own homes. He wanted to encourage family snoopers to report outbreaks of hate speech at the dinner table.

How was that going to work? Perhaps setting up a free helpline for traumatised siblings to report errant renditions of rebel songs or The Sash. Perhaps all new affordable housing developments would come complete with surveillance technology to monitor slovenly talk. As all the top social workers say, early intervention is key.

We should have known that the Scottish Government would seek other ways of criminalising the hate-filled working classes. They were obviously still smarting from the wholesale failure of their attempts to collar the punters while attending football matches. Them and their despicable songs and displays of delinquent bunting.

In all of this of course, a familiar cast of middle-class media types and Walt Disney academics quickly got with the picture to portray themselves as edgy and progressive and signal their chi-chi virtue. They swarmed all over social media last week to express contempt for those reactionary Scots who felt that asking their children to provide intimate details of their sexual preferences was akin to grooming.

“Daddy; a strange man asked me if I liked oral sex.”

“Not to worry sweetheart; it’s all part of a wider policy framework to tailor future health strategies to the user’s needs. Don’t be so intolerant.”

In those feral housing schemes that the SNP loathe so much such a question would see the inquisitor leaving in boxes. But what do they know? They’re all knuckle-draggers whose ideas about raising families are trapped in the 19th century … except at election time when they undergo a remarkable metamorphosis and become victims requiring the help of the SNP to lift them out of poverty. Aye, very good! Fortunately, the Scottish judiciary and the UN have been on hand to slap down the Scottish Government whenever they’ve attempted to impose a 24/7 social curfew on the rest of us. Yet, as the SNP seem set fair to rule for another decade or so they show no signs of halting their remorseless drive to control everyone’s behaviour.

One of the few successes of the Nicola Sturgeon era has been the provision of baby boxes for all expectant breast-feeders in Scotland. On the basis of the party’s implacable desire to kettle the future behaviours of our young people we should soon expect to see the provision of “adolescent boxes”.

These might contain those everyday items familiar to all of Scotland’s young teenagers. Along with the Kleenex and massage oil there could be a blow-up sex mannequin (non-binary of course); a free subscription to YouPorn and a vibrator. These could obviously be customised for Catholics with a slower rpm to prevent full satisfaction, if you ken what ah mean. There could even be fluffy hand-cuffs to introduce a playful element to proceedings.

Perhaps it’s now time that we considered imposing a restraining order on Nicola Sturgeon and her voyeuristic cabinet ministers. I’m sure the UN could facilitate this, while the EU could make it a condition of future membership; this being the Holy Grail of the SNP.

Thus, all cabinet secretaries, their advisors and National Executive Council members would be required to sign up to a people’s declaration before assuming high office. The list of requirements might include:

A signed guarantee to refrain from soliciting or attempting to solicit intimate information from minors about their private lives, as outlined in the UN charter for children’s rights.

An undertaking not to use the apparatus of the state to encroach on the family’s right to privacy, as laid out in the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

A guarantee that you will not seek to criminalise, or attempt to criminalise, the citizens of your country for making free expressions of religious or cultural beliefs, as protected by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

A promise to ditch the habit of using inspirational quotes on Facebook as the basis for your social justice programmes.

All ministers and their advisors would be required to wear an electronic ankle tag that would flag up any breaches of the ASBO conditions during cabinet discussions and meetings of the NEC.

During parliamentary recess the Scottish Government would be required to undertake reality familiarisation courses at special summer camps to wean themselves off their psychotic addiction to interference. A phased and monitored recovery programme would be provided as part of the process.

We all want the Scottish Government to be the best possible version of itself and we’d be supporting them through this challenging but ultimately rewarding journey.


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12 Responses to A Creepy Scottish Government

  1. Votefor Poodles says:

    Kevin KcKenna is becoming the most astute critic of Nicola and Co we have , not a word wasted and a thorough unravelling of the bunch of hopeless chancers they are.

  2. imacg says:

    Best yet, so on the mark. Hideous behaviour like this needs outed and the perps need ousted – unfit for office, any office.. No doubt the gaslight will be on full blow-torch now.

  3. ObairPheallaidh says:

    MxcKenna didnae miss there. Vindictive, arrogant, conscienceless, and feckin useless. They cannae even sell us oot properly.

  4. A creepy Scottish government, without discernable qualifications… Namely, Sturgeon and Co., if I may pick and mix from this article? (as I remember at a Woolworth’s sweety counter)… that suited us in childhood! Although the SNP had gradually developed into a respectable, meretricious political party, it somehow change under Sturgeon’s leadership? Many people now call it “The British SNP”!

    I joined the SNP party as soon as possible, yet I couldn’t remain a member of a party that has morphed into What it is now! No Party or politician is more important than Scotland’s electorate – and today, this seems to be unrecognisable to certain Scottish politicians!? Thanks for your time,


  5. twathater says:

    As I commented on Roddy’s barrhead boy post “Sometimes the obvious ”

    twathater says:
    6 December 2021 at 5:44 pm

    And right there Roddy is the conundrum every REAL INDEPENDENCE voter will have to face , I personally didn’t or COULDN’T stomach voting snp in May despite AS proposition , I voted ALBA . I have been saying and posting for years that I am SICK of these arseholes BLACKMAILING me and the broader indy yes movement , and lo and behold they are doing it again

    Sturgeon Harvie and their tartan taliban warriors are FORCING these perversions on us , they are challenging and baiting us that if we don’t vote snp or greens we will let in the unionists , well fcukin guess what , SHE EMBRACED and LET IN the unionists DELIBERATELY against us Alex Salmond and the YES movement

    The ONLY thing she cares about is POWER , POWER to FORCE her deranged , perverted , reviled policies on Scottish children and women , and I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO THAT BLACKMAIL , I am 70 years of age ,male , husband , father , grandfather and I desire independence with every fibre of my being and I promise that if this PERVERT is still in power and pushing this DEVIANCY I will vote against the snp . SHE is counting on the people being desperate independence sheep with NO INTEGRITY OR MORALITY , SHE can fcuk right off , and I wonder if the undecideds or soft no’s LIKE sturgeon’s new Scotland and vote for her form of independence

  6. tombkane says:

    Kevin McKenna has described our predicament in simple, blazing language.

    A lot of Scottish government behaviour is criminally anti-social, and at a new level – it’s impactful and anti-democratic too.

    If the working class and the 14-16 year olds from our schools were the real hope for Scotland’s independence, why would you upset them so much and treat them with such contempt? Only through stupidity or strategy.

    Cruelty met villainy and formed a new government in Bute House. The last 8 paragraphs of Kevin’s article would be a way to rehabilitate them. But maybe ASGOs … Anti-social Government Orders…

    For the hardcore anti-democratic neds among them, and their hundred-plus advisors, i can just about see them resisting those reality camps, and singing away “I belong to ASGO”…

    Will get my coat.

  7. Jan Cowan says:

    It’s fortunate we have Kevin McKenna who sees Sturgeon and Co for what they are…….perverted creeps of the highest order. I share twathater’s anger.

  8. Thankfully, we who REALLY want Scotland to REGAIN its independence will be pleased with what’s been written here!

  9. Missing from this excellent article is any reference to the “missing” Mr Murrell. remarkable really that he, aided by the media, has slimed away from all consequences of his actions.
    The power behind the throne, Sturgeon the limelight seeker?

  10. Graf Midgehunter says:


    I can’t get my order out to you under: garwarscot@hotmail.com.

    Outlook says:
    Remote Server returned ‘550 5.1.3 STOREDRV.Submit; invalid recipient address’

    Graf Midgehunter

  11. Grouse Beater says:

    Graf – am mystified what is halting access. Orders are coming through on that address. Maybe something wrong yesterday. Please try again. Many thanks. GB.

  12. Ann Forbes says:

    To me this whole schemozzle is just too confusing. There are too many disparate groups involved and it is not at all clear who is doing what and where the powers really lie.
    There are:
    SNP Ministers, some officials at the top of the Party and some of the NEC [1].
    Green Party Ministers
    British Civil Servants who run the Scottish Government. They are headed by Permanent Secretary who actually reports to the UK Westminster Government. They include not only the regular Civil servants but also SPADS (SPecial ADvisers).
    The current Permanent Secretary is Leslie Evans. She has described herself as the FMs chief Political adviser [2].
    SPADS control who gets access to ministers. That means, for example, if Stonewall gets preferential treatment in terms of multiple meetings and ForWomen.Scot are all but excluded, the blame for the direction of the policies is not solely attributable to the politicians.
    Although this article does point out the actions of the politicians and their parties, what is missing is an examination of the role of the last group.

    [1] SNP Party officials and NEC members have influence but not official powers.
    [2] see under heading Across the divide

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