Trump Redacted


Donald Trump has grown to realise that bluff and bluster are no match for the law and the American Constitution. Whether that  stops him talking nonsense is in doubt.

His attempts to turn the clock back on democratic progress keep getting tripped at the blocks. Duly frustrated, we should all expect extremist Republicans to make an assault on the US Constitution, or the Bill of Rights, in order to advance their cause of lining their pockets and that of their wealthy friends at the expense of the slow-witted who placed their trust in them as a force for change.

I don’t know about readers, but I’m in two frames of mind. I’m happy not to listen to Trumps boasting and drivel and get on with securing Scotland’s civil rights, but am on my guard should he announce World War III as a means of personal aggrandisement, the final solution exploited by every right-wing nutcase who talks up false patriotism when their ratings falter. In the meantime, and as an amusing diversion, I bring to reader’s attention some of his most recent gobbledygook, plus an essay written by an irate American journalist. You’ll enjoy learning new words, such as wackadoodle.

Trump gave an interview to the Time magazine. The essence of it was ‘truth’, or as some satirists have come to call it, truthiness. The journalist Ellie Shechet took the interview and analysed every sentence in the full transcript published by Time. It’s a lesson in  irony.

Trump lies a lot, says a number of half-true things, does not admit he was incorrect to link Ted Cruz’s father with Lee Harvey Oswald, foists responsibility for his inaccuracies onto media reports that he misrepresents, says the word “Brexit” 11 times. He forms sentences like “Brussels, I said, Brussels is not Brussels.” Now and again Trump mumbles something that is verifiable as true.

Below is an extract showing everything redacted that is not one hundred per cent, cast iron verifiably true. What remains is everything the president said that is definitely true. And to nobody’s surprise, not much is left to read, except a few pleasantries.

I’ve enlarged the first page, and one more to give a flavour, so to speak. After that its more of the same; hardly worth reading because hardly a sentence remains intact.

We can laugh at Trump – a momentary release from his craziness – but don’t forget Farage and Ukip got over four million votes by spouting similar bigotry. They’re best pals now.



And so it goes on, and on, and on…

And there’s more pain for Trump

Here’s what Americans call a ‘take down’ of their ‘dumbass’ president, in this case written by Maureen Dowd.

Dear Donald,

We’ve known each other a long time, so I think I can be blunt.

You know how you said at campaign rallies that you did not like being identified as a politician? Don’t worry. No one will ever mistake you for a politician. After this past week, they won’t even mistake you for a top-notch negotiator.

I was born here. The first image in my memory bank is the Capitol, all lit up at night. And my primary observation about Washington is this: Unless you’re careful, you end up turning into what you started out scorning. And you, Donald, are getting a reputation as a sucker. And worse, a sucker who is a tool of the D.C. establishment.

Your campaign was mocking your rivals and the D.C. elite, jawing about how Americans had turned into losers, with our bad deals and open borders and the Obamacare “disaster.” And you were going to fly in on your gilded plane and fix all that in a snap.

You mused that a good role model would be Ronald Reagan. As you saw it, Reagan was a big, good-looking guy with a famous pompadour; he had also been a Democrat and an entertainer. But Reagan had one key quality that you don’t have: He knew what he didn’t know.

You both resembled Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloons, floating above the nitty-gritty and focusing on a few big thoughts. But President Reagan was confident enough to accept that he needed experts below, deftly manoeuvring the strings. You’re just careering around on your own, crashing into buildings and losing altitude, growling at the cameras and spewing nasty conspiracy theories, instead of offering a sunny smile, bipartisanship, optimism and professionalism.

You promised to get the best people around you in the White House, the best of the best. In fact, “best” is one of your favourite words. Instead, you dragged that motley skeleton crew into the White House and let them create a feuding, leaking, belligerent, conspiratorial, sycophantic atmosphere. Instead of a smooth, classy operator like James Baker, you have a Manichaean anarchist in Steve Bannon.

You knew the Republicans were full of hot air. They haven’t had to pass anything in a long time, and they have no aptitude for governing. To paraphrase an old Barney Frank line, asking the Republicans to govern is like asking Frank to judge the Miss America contest — “If your heart’s not in it, you don’t do a very good job.” You knew that Paul Ryan’s vaunted reputation as a policy wonk was fake news. Republicans have been running on repealing and replacing Obamacare for years and they never even bothered to come up with a valid alternative.

And neither did you, despite all your promises to replace Obamacare with “something terrific” because you wanted everyone to be covered.

And neither did you, despite all your promises to replace Obamacare with “something terrific” because you wanted everyone to be covered. Instead, you sold the D.O.A. bill the Irish undertaker gave you as though it were a luxury condo, ignoring the fact that it was a cruel flimflam, a huge tax cut for the rich disguised as a health care bill. You were so concerned with the “win” that you forgot your “forgotten” Americans, the older, poorer people in rural areas who would be hurt by the bill.

Despite the best efforts of Bannon to act as though the whole fiasco of ‘fixing’ Obamacare was a clever way to bury Ryan — a man he disdains as “the embodiment of the ‘globalist-corporatist’ Republican elite,” it won’t work.

And you can jump on the phone with The Times’s Maggie Haberman and The Washington Post’s Robert Costa — ignoring that you’ve labeled them the “fake media” — and act like you’re in control. You can say that people should have waited for “Phase 2” and “Phase 3” — whatever they would have been — and that Obamacare is going to explode and that the Democrats are going to get the blame. But it doesn’t work that way. You own it now.

You’re all about flashy marketing so you didn’t notice that the bill was junk, so lame that even Republicans skittered away.

You were humiliated right out of the chute by the establishment guys who hooked you into their agenda — a massive transfer of wealth to rich people — and drew you away from your own. You sold yourself as the businessman who could shake things up and make Washington work again. Instead, you got worked over by the Republican leadership and the business community, who set you up to do their bidding. That’s why they’re putting up with all your craziness about Russia and wiretapping and unending lies and rattling our allies.

They’re counting on you being a delusional dupe who didn’t even know what was in the bill because you’re sitting around in a bathrobe getting your information from wackadoodles on Fox News.

You got played.

It took W. years to smash everything. You’re way ahead of schedule. And I can say you’re doing badly, because I’m a columnist, and you’re not. Say hello to everybody, O.K.?



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1 Response to Trump Redacted

  1. Andy in Germany says:

    Oh dear. I wonder if the reason more people don’t point and laugh at Westminster is that it is currently eclipsed for sherr looniness by the White House…

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