My Racist Taxi Driver


Narrow nationalists applaud Theresa May’s denunciation of narrow nationalists

The student as racist

I wouldn’t have taken notice of my taxi driver’s ranting had it not been for a pig-ignorant, vain, histrionic Stirling University student writing a venomous opinion piece only days before in the Guardian newspaper. No names, I would not want to give her a sliver of extra publicity.

In a fit of auto-erotic exultation she charged the SNP, by implication Scots who vote Yes, with being a bunch of racists. Her essay loaded with errors and misrepresentations is studiously provocative to the point of racial abuse. Her university tutors ought to re-examine their teaching methods.

She gave a nation’s humanity the finger.


Khan, mayor of London using straight talk to imply all Scots are racists

The wrath of Khan

The student wrote it in support of London’s mayor, Sadiq Khan, a man of equal vanity and no detectable shame. Khan gave his best impersonation of the classic arrogant Englishman. He arrived in Perth to speak to a dribble of Labour party members but chose instead to lecture the population of Scotland that had rejected his party.

His weaselly thesis echoed that of the student’s rant. It was just as insolent, just as violent: he claimed the SNP, a party founded by intellectuals, historians, poets and writers, has an inherently racist creed.

Khan’s sin was an amoral sophistry that could have been lifted from the speeches of Joseph Goebbels, with barely an adjustment. Challenged by journalists he refused to withdraw the insult. His reply was a lesson in equivocation, the Little Britain comedy type of yes-but-no-but yes. He waffled all over the place denying it was what he said, it was only what he meant.


Not my taxi driver, but a good semblance of the type herein, but not the majority

This is where the story really begins

My Scottish taxi driver was no defender of civil rights. His conversation was riddled with misrepresentations and half-baked opinion in the same abhorrent vein as the airhead student and London’s dimwit mayor on a day trip to the savage north.

The morning did not begin well. No ‘Good morning, where to?’. He arrived disgruntled that his taxi could not make a U-turn in my narrow cul-de-sac. From the minute he collected me to dropping me off at the airport he didn’t cease his prattle. To make sense of it for the reader I’ve published it in paragraphs, but in reality it was seamless word association.  (I carry a journal everywhere to keep notes.) I publish a small portion.

“Tha’ Rowling, tha’s some hoose she’s got there. She’s a really nice lassie. I met her once. Very civil, very pleasant woman tae talk to. Had a wee chat wi her. Nae airs or graces, yi ken.

Yer no allowed tae look at her kids of course, cannae stare at them, or take photographs. Probably why she’s surrounded by bodyguards. I wis told they’re awe ex-SAS. Nae kiddin’. Ah believe that. She kin afford the best.

Yi get frisked when yi go tae her hoose, phone camera taken aff yi. Tae be honest, she’s paranoid. Ah think she’s a control freak.

I wonder what she does wi’ awe that money. She’s done a lot fir Scotland. Ah think she had a bad time when she wis younger an’ that’s why she helps wummin’s charities. Her first man must be kickin’ hissel fir dumpin’ her, or maybe she dumped him, Ahm no sure. Yi dinnae hear much aboot him these days, ha ha. Course, if he had’nae done whit he’s done she might’iv no written a bliddy word of Harry Potter. Yi have tae be proud she wrote that book in Edinburgh.

Ah’ll tell yi who’s she close pals wi. Di yi ken? Naw? Wi yon Gordon Broon’s wife. Best pals. Soon as Broon’s wife had a wean [baby] Rowling was first tae visit her.

Now there’s a man wi oot a blemish on his character. Ye’ll no find Broon takin’ back pocket money. Of all politishuns yi can count on him being clean as a whistle. Gies speeches, an’ tha’, fir thousands of pounds and gies the lot tae charity. Son o’ a minister, son o’ the manse, that’s him. Ah gid man. Ah’ve a lottay time fir Broon. Anyway, her an’ Broon are close friends.

Christ, the weather’s bin great this while. Nae snaw so far, though we kin get it as late as May. Ah dae a lot o’ fishin’, sea fishin’, no oot oan a boat, oan hard rock, on the shore, an’ tha’. Actually, me an’ mah pals got a trip up at Arbroath planned fir this weekend. Always a load o’ fun.

There’s a bar up there we like tae visit, English guy bin runnin’ it fir years. One day there wus a gypsy wummin sittin’ in a corner feedin’ her wean fay her tit, ken – her breast, sorry, yi know whit Ah mean, nae shame.

Ah’ve got tae say this, an Ah dinnae give a fuck for awe them liberals and lefties. Ah don’t care what they fuckin’ think, but Ah hate fuckin’ gypsies. They’re theivin’, lying, cheating bastards, livin’ aff our welfare. Yakin’ as much as they kin get. Yi would’nae trust them wi’ yer life.

Anyway, this wummin was feedin’ her bairn bare-breasted, an’ the barman suddenly grabbed her by the throat and pushed her up against the wall.

We wus all shocked, yi know, he did it so quickly and brutal, like.

“Yer no doin’ that shite in ma bar!” he screamed it intae her face, yi know. “Ya fuckin’ slut!” An’ he threw her an’ her wean oot o’ the pub. Yi have tae admire his attitude. Ah’d probably hae done the same thing if it were ma pub. Fuckin’ gypsies.

Yer on yer way tae Dublin? Whit a place tha’ is. Been a few times wi the lads. There’s the Temple Bar we go tae. It’s really a tourist bar, an that’, prices much higher than the real Irish bars, but there’s always a crowd an’ the atmosphere’s good, ken.

A bunch of wanky tourists came in an’ asked what wis the local drink. The barman said Guinness. He probably says that tae every dumb tourist who asks. “Okay”, says wan o’ them, “Gie us six half-pints of Guinness.” Who the fuck drinks half-pints of Guinness? What a shit. Half-pints of Guinness, goad help me.

An’ whit about that giant metal spire in O’Connell Street. What is tha’ all aboot?

Whit a pile of shit tha’ is. The IRA blew up Nelson’s statue tha’ used tae be there. Ah kin understand why they’d want tae do that, but why replace it wi’ a giant knittin’ needle? Whit’s it supposed to represent? Wis it an Englishman designed it, or Dublin council ordered it? Kerrist.

Mind you, naebody will be able to blow tha’ up. Impervious tae terrorists tha’ thing is. Ah, ah ha, aye, nae problem there. Nae chance tae damage tha’ thing.

Okay, wur there now. Plenty time fer yer flight. Yull ken where tae go fae here, yes? That’ll be £19 pounds, ta. Hiv a good time in Dublin.”

So, there you have it

My taxi driver sees no contradiction applauding a racist barman who assaults a woman for being a gypsy and a mother, but loves JK Rowling for helping battered women’s causes. He hates liberals and lefties for protecting his civil rights, but thinks Gordon Brown, bag man to corrupt banks, a man without a sin to his character.

It would not surprise me to hear that after getting me to the airport he next dropped in to the Tory party conference in Glasgow to hear what Theresa May had to say about how to keep him and the rest of us docile and servile.

Khan and his dead-on-cue racist student, and every right-wing British newspaper that elevate their outrageous slur are pals with my taxi driver – and he’s a unionist.



This entry was posted in Scottish Independence Referendum, Scottish Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to My Racist Taxi Driver

  1. Hey Grouse … just to add a little balance.
    I’m an Edinburgh Cabbie and I can assure you we’re not all like that clown. The vast majority of us are kind, helpful and treat others with the respect you would expect from a public transport professional.
    I hope readers don’t get the impression this guy is by any means representative of the trade. There’s idiots like this in every profession.
    Anyway, enjoy reading your blog, not so much your film reviews though! You’ve given me more than a few bum steers in that department! Lol.

  2. Pig ignorant, mysoginistic, racist, violent, philistine.
    Yep. That’s your British Nationalist all right.
    Guys like that make me want to puke.
    In the absence of a baseball bat, paradoxically…

  3. Grouse Beater says:

    🙂 Sorry about the film reviews –
    I thought last year’s Hell and High Water the best film seen since Son of Saul. Hope you managed to catch it.

  4. Grouse Beater says:

    In each instance it’s what’s described as a jaw-dropping encounter. The idea they thought they could get away with the accusation and have it stick is the crime.

  5. Aye I did watch Hell or High Water and yip, one of your better reviews. What was that Western/cannabil film again? The worst film I think I’ve ever seen in my life! 😂

  6. Grouse Beater says:

    I remember it. Bone Tomahawk.
    When Hollywood runs out of ideas it mixes up the genres like a salad and expects us to accept them as served.

  7. Ed t head says:

    I have met a lot of taxi drivers some like yours thick as *hit. Some can be talked to.
    If I have a wee blue book I give it to them, but won’t push it to the blinkered as it will be tossed out.
    Also a regular driver is already a Yes voter so it’s a nice drive.
    Just to get it in support Wings over Scotland latest funding drive I know you have as it will help get us a free Scotland.

  8. Grouse Beater says:

    I read donations are £100,000 plus already. Amazing.
    The referendum has to be the one we win. Otherwise we’re in big trouble. We can expect ten more years of Tory authority, and Trump’s neo-fascism.

  9. I am honestly pondering my (horribly limited) options in the event that Scotland allows itself to be cowed into brutalised submissiveness yet again. None of the options are attractive beyond claiming asylum in Germany.
    Not a religious man, I still offer up a worthless prayer that our people have the sense (and survival instinct) to reclaim our nationhood.
    Even if we do so, Scotland will need a Cold War style intelligence watch of her own; not against some mythical “Russian Threat” but against the eternal subversion of her neighbour and her neighbour’s master.
    Sad to say it has always been this way with them – Defoe is the proof of that.

  10. Grouse Beater says:


    I share your concerns. People in Scotland have a right to be paranoid.

    The racist smear is made to keep us occupied. The multi-millionaires, the businessmen who will benefit from the loss of worker’s rights, they sit quietly behind the scenes pouring pour money into Tory and Ukip coffers to beat any renaissance of Scotland’s ambitions.

    When the driver started on his tirade I thought, hell, he’s proving Khan has a point – the point Khan denied he was making – but he soon proved otherwise.

    Here was an out-and-out unionist mansplaining how we’ve been over-taken by political correctness. Shades of Tory and Ukip were all over his tirade. He didn’t see it as that. He saw it as keeping his fare entertained.

    In epitome he’s saying: If you’re a complete jerk you really should be allowed to demonstrate that you’re a complete jerk. That’s free speech. If you hate a person a race of people say it.

    Thing is, I’ve met so many English who also detest gypsies and ‘tinkers’. I remember travellers coming to my mother’s house every spring selling clothes pegs. No one said they were untrustworthy. They were people trying to make a little money in order to buy food and get through the day. As you probably know, years back the council ear-marked two places where they can camp untroubled when passing through the city.

  11. Bill says:

    My experience of Edinburgh taxi drivers both in the City and airport over 3 decades is a catalogue of deplorable behaviour and standards. I now actually book my local taxi from Kirkcaldy to collect me at the airport rather than take one from there. And as for using a taxi in Edinburgh, I’d rather walk in the pissing rain.

  12. Grouse Beater says:

    Fair point, Bill, but I don’t want this topic to be about the character of Edinburgh taxi drivers. (I have a lot to say about their drive-any-which-way-I-like attitude.) I find them good company and efficient in general.

    I might pen an essay on taxis under the automobile category. And I refuse to use Uber taxis. I’ve no idea where the profits go other than they’re not circulated in Edinburgh, and Uber’s owner is a thug.

    It’s pure coincidence – or maybe auto-suggestion – this driver struck out on a week when unionists made clear one of their tactics will be to smear Scots, English, Polish, Chinese, Italians et all as racists, next referendum.

    Normally I would have challenged him, or let it all wash over me as I concentrated on catching my flight, but he was showing how unionists can take the odd instance and portray it a nation’s culture not of their politics, when in fact it’s entirely their politics.

  13. Enough Bill please!!!! Go check your facts before making sweeping generalisations about my trade. You’ll find that the Edinburgh Hackney Cab trade is amongst the most regulated, least complained about industries! We have an exceptionally high standards of service. We are regulated by The Cab Office who are Police !!! If there is any complaint against me I’m not called in to see my manager, I’m up in front of the Police!
    Every year during the Festival I’m told regularly how impressed our visitors are with the quality of our Cabbies.
    Let’s leave the ignorant generalisations to the likes of Kahn and Dugdale.

  14. TheItalianJob says:

    I can’t believe what that man said. How could anyone be so uncaring and dispicable towards another human being especially a poor mother.

    As for Brown I felt sorry for him when he was being vilified when PM but that changed on his stance (and lies on pensions for one) during the Independence ref in 2014. His so called charitable foundation I’m sure offsets some of his tax he would have to pay, so not true to say most of his foundation earnings go to good causes. Most of these earnings go to him and his wife.

    As for JK Rowling the less said about her the better. Totally irrelevant in my opinion.

    The fact that Scotland returned an UKIP MEP who is a total uneducated buffoon really depressed me. I thought and still do that the ordinary Scot is inherently kind and wishes the best for themselves, family, friends and all of society. Unfortunately as the encounter with this person demonstrates, you soon realise what we are up against in achieving our self determination and it being voted through.

    God help us if we fail again. I still can’t believe some Labour MSP’s have not walked across the Scottish Parliament and joined the SNP. But then again as one of our erudite writers in WOS says we have always been up against the British Establishment which, as we know full well includes the Labour Party.

    Note there is no Scottish Labour Party and there never will be one unless we get Independance. Of course they will have to rename themselves as the present lot wouldn’t get a look in an Independent Scotland.

  15. Grouse Beater says:

    The Khans of this world are attempting to keep our attention off Scotland’s democratic omissions, and the wealthy people who make sure elections and referenda are never ‘level playing fields’.

    You know the sort of thing, the ultra-right millionaires fund phony think tanks with humanistic titles such as ‘The Heartland Institute’ to help disseminate tactics on ‘election management strategies’.

  16. Andy in Germany says:

    I recently found this on a model railway forum I’m a part of:

    “… I decided to walk into Slough town centre to find something to eat (about 2km or just over a mile depending on you measurement units). For 3/4 of the journey I did not hear an English speaking voice. I had a feeling that I had been transported to the Pakistan / Afghan border. On another trip to Lincolnshire, I thought I might have fallen through a space / time wormhole into Eastern Europe.”

    That is, in a nutshell, the issue, there are parts of Britain which are no longer Britain, and a large number of immigrants have absolutely no intention of integrating into British societal norms.

    I like Europe, I like Europeans, but significant parts of the country are simply being overwhelmed by immigration, both EU and non-EU.”

    Where do you start with this tosh?

    He likes ‘Europeans’ but clearly not anyone from further away and certainly not people with dark skin. (So that presumable means he’s not really ‘racist’ just er… ‘Patiotic’?

    The UK is being ‘Overwhelmed’ by ‘Immigration’ because he hears a few different languages on a walk into Slough…

    The worst, is that this racist hogwash is considered acceptable to post on a slightly international forum about model trains. If this is okay now, what will the UK be like a few years post Brexit?

  17. Grouse Beater says:

    There are English you and I would describe as hard working, sensible, kind people, who share that man’s opinion, and indeed, in my company have reiterated what he said almost word for word.

    I have tried to tell those I meet they’re tilting at the wrong issues, but it’s an uphill struggle to have them see differently because it’s not what their eyes see, their minds having been told what to think a hundred times a day in various ways, and their experience of daily life lends empirical evidence to false assumptions – hey presto, fewer immigrants will solve our problems. Suddenly we will all be English again.

    You discover we’re up against extremely wealthy people manipulating the news, hijacking the democratic system to reshape it in their interests. Example: the shady American Robert Mercer is one who’s donated millions to Trump and Brietbart magazine, a man able to use the most sophisticated computers to create fake statistics and disseminate them.

    It’s then you understand why the barons are so successful convincing ordinary citizens it’s all the fault of foreigners. Getting rid of them is the answer, they insinuate by simply repeating the assertions of others.

    The more people believe it, the closer we are to marking out Jews.

  18. Not a good start to your day Andrew. Wish you hadn’t felt the need to share. Man’s inhumanity never makes good reading. Have a nice holiday and come safely back to us.

  19. John Higgins says:

    Hi grousebeater. I have sometimes wondered if we would have the same attitude as many English peope if we had the same number of immigrants proportionally. I hope not. Even before mass immigration began, if you look back over the centuries, some English people seemed to have a strange attitude to foreigners. Long before the empire English monarchs and governments were interfering in other countries business, as we know to our cost. Only they knew/know how things should be done.

    I don’t know if that characteristic will ever change. For Scotland, the only solution is independence. Run our own affairs and let them run their own country in their own way, hoping that we get left in peace to build the fairer Scotland we want and need.

    I fear for the future if we don’t get independence.

  20. broadbield says:

    The most worrying thing about Khan/Student is the use of the “racist” card. It’s clearly another arrow in the strategy to demonise Scottish Independence and supporters. Prepare for more of the same – and worse. I think there will be a coordinated plan to attack Indy by any means, fair or foul, but probably foul. There will be low-life sitting down and working out the foulest, most effective (they think) Goebbels-type propaganda to throw at us. We too need a coordinated response – based on sound social, political and economic arguments.

  21. Grouse Beater says:

    Opponents of political progress have been going on long enough about the constitutional debate being ‘divisive’ – suggesting it encourages racism is just another step down in that tactic. They’ve got one eye on the sensibilities of the bourgeois.

    Get the middle-class to perceive change as uncomfortable or inconvenient is the goal. They want us to assume it’s unnecessary – we have all the civil rights we need.


    Their problem – and it’s a BIG problem – is the chaos Brexit has and will cause that they tell us is no problem at all. I think that’s why they’ve got dirtier in their attacks.

  22. Tony L says:

    And why IndyRef2 can not be called too soon. Timing is critical, or course, but people need to see the greater danger in the now dead Brexit inspired “status quo” before accepting the challenge that Independence will bring.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s