Grouse Beater Talks


I’m proud to say almost 180,000 new readers visited the site this year, a 40% increase over last – and funded by myself. I don’t take donations.

Anyhow, to ‘Grouse Beater Talks’ … and sometimes does the hoovering.

I’m happy to give a talk and question and answer session to groups or  organisations, spiced with the odd flash of original wit. But I am choosy. I have my vocation and contracts to fulfil, places to go, people to see. If you’d like me to give a talk, please Twitter a request, or drop a line to this site. My time is free if in Edinburgh.

Talks outside the capital need travelling expenses reimbursed, and more than one man and his dog guaranteed to reward preparation and effort with interest and good will.


Show me the money first!

“A standing ovation for the best speaker.” Institute of Chartered Accountants, Annual Dinner.

What a surprise. You were far better than Ann Gloag!” Scottish Business Convention.

“You’re hiding your luminous light under anonymity.” Glasgow University Students.

“Thank you for a politically informative and entertaining talk.” SNP West of Edinburgh ward.

“You delivered a compelling case for autonomy.” Edinburgh College of Art student’s union.

“You were a sheer delight, and we loved the slide show illustrating your wife’s work. Many thanks.” Glasgow Women’s Art Society

“Sorry. I think we got the wrong guy.” Labour party official thinking me a Labour MP.


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5 Responses to Grouse Beater Talks

  1. All the best, GB. As I don’t own a TV, I’m fairly safe. Hoping for a better 2017 than 2016 but keeping my expectations low…

  2. Robert Peffers says:

    Not to worry, Grouse Beater, I’ll still be here manning the barricades wi ma wee Papillon bitch acting as my ears.

    Her great big lugs are great. A bit like RADAR antennas. She can hear a tiny biscuit crumb hitting the kitchen floor from more than half way up my 30 Metre long back garden. She can smell a rat from even further away.

    So have a great Winter Festival in the sure and certain knowledge the night watch is on duty.

  3. Les Wilson says:

    Hi Grouse, read your excellent articles, have a good Xmas and an exciting new year. ( Hope we all do!)

  4. Grouse Beater says:

    Read them all? You’re a glutton for punishment!
    Let’s hope the hubris of Westminster, and the concern of Holyrood make 2017 a better year for Scotland.

  5. Grouse Beater says:

    There’s a Papillon lives down the hill from me … maybe you do too! Gulp!
    You’re a strength to weakness, and a ward to attack. More power to your pen.

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