Pukesville, England


Wear this talisman and no evil will befall you

I can’t be troubled to read opinion columns explaining why Tony Blair is a war criminal, guilty by omission, should be found guilty by the Hague Court, or sent to the naughty corner in the nursery. I know my own mind.

I’m ready for my epitaph, Mr Funeral Director

His well rehearsed ‘mea-not-culpa’ speech given on publication day of the Chilcot Report was puke inducing, a litany of post hoc rationalisation, self-righteous twaddle, and non-sequitur, in other words, waffle.

He hit upon the tactic of making himself appear to be Honest John, open to public scrutiny, heinously traduced. Yet he spent months and years refusing to release memos of the true nature of his relationship with the lethally inept George Dublya Bush. And he forgot how he has made himself unaccountably wealthy in the process, on the backs of thousands killed or maimed. Iraq is now one vast landmine.

When West meets East

The history of imperial England meddling in the Middle East makes unpleasant reading. The history book you’re reading about it is liable to be thrown at the wall.  Watch the last ten minutes of Lean’s ‘Lawrence of Arabia’. The English overlords joining in the squabble to divide the spoils of Arabia with tribal elders, a scenario they had created. There’s another epic movie in that coda alone.

Bush’s desperation to show his dad he had humungous testicles by swatting a hornet’s nest spread the vicious swarm across the planet.We are still paying for his folly. The Chilcot Report took seven years and millions of taxpayer money to endorse what we all knew already, solid evidence there from the beginning including weekly reports from Hans Blix the UN inspector in Iraq who stated time and time again Hussein was cooperating, and there were no weapons of mass destruction, only gas canisters sold to Iraq by the West. Blair chose to ignore the lot.

Tip toe to the top table

That’s always the way with imperialist nations. They consider themselves exceptional.

The world gave a collective groan knowing Bush had screwed up the 21st century big time, the millennium that was to be the century of new beginnings, of hope, of peace. His legacy is neo-con austerity, a gang of plummy born-to-ruin Etonians, and their flatulent fag boy Nigel Farage. Power and wealth in the hands of the few.

Once Blair embraced neoliberal economics he embraced American foreign policy. The two are synonymous. And now that the UK has left the family of European nations we have given ourselves up to US foreign ambitions fully. That cannot be anything other than dangerous.

England, definitely not my England

I can’t believe Boris Johnson thought he would win the referendum to leave Europe. His plan was to use the campaign to bolster his influence, be handed a top government post by Cameron, and then stand for Tory leadership at the next election, sliding into the job of prime minister, his Bullingdon pal safely out of office.

Boris’s battle was the same as other English politicians, fear of the thousands of Syrian refugees and civilians from terrorised nations seeking sanctuary in Europe and then on his patch. He is determined none shall step onto English shores. He will fight them on the beaches, no doubt about it.

Who let the dogs out?

Emboldened by new found liberty from European constraints on war mongering, there are calls from proud-to-be-reckless authoritarian politicians that we ‘must’ send troops to the Russian border to help ‘keep the peace’. Some have decided without parliamentary debate to order more Trident missiles, weapons of mass destruction that we were told Saddam Hussein hid under his bed, bad, nasty things only dictators want, and might use.

England is not a happy nation if not at war with at least one country, preferably two, so its masters have the excuse that we are better off remaining an island aloof from the world, our borders safer than Lichtenstein.

Where do we stand now, Wallace?

The UK government is just as neoliberal as the EU. For all its flaws, the EU offers some kind of independent and (by comparative standards) constructive option in world affairs, and could do more. Having told Johnny Foreigner in no uncertain manner he is not English, Britain is weaker, open to be more a colony of the USA.

We lose all the advantages of closer interactions with civilized Europe. Worse, we give the bitches of fascism and authoritarianism all the motivation to mate with any passing dog that takes their fancy.

The irony is, the EU will continue setting standards in all things, but Britain will not be able to influence decisions, Scotland dragged out against its will. How cool is that?

Does the Co-op still give stamps?

Scotland, led by Nicola Sturgeon, sees the ‘wurruld’ in different terms. She’s right to demand we stay members of Europe. We made our position plain in the European Parliament on the day Farage gave it the finger. The response was instant. Any number of influential European politicians began welcoming Scotland as a loyal partner, angering unionist woodlice.

We want to remain European in outlook. Scotland has been in the vanguard of resistance to global rule by corporate tyranny. We dispensed with brutal Toryism decades ago.  Scotland wants to enjoy full civil rights and the proceeds of what it earns by its own sweat, to protect them with sovereignty assured, but we wish to remain integrated socially and in trade with our English counterparts. That’s called co-operation.


This man collects £4,500 a month pension from the EU he helped to dump

All life evolves except politicians

I waited for my delayed plane to Malaga. The thumbs of the grossly overweight girl sitting next to me worked faster on her iPhone keyboard than Liszt playing a Bohemian Furiant on a Steinway. I was transfixed.

“Another twenty years and our thumbs will be a few millimetres longer.”

“Aye, you’re right, Mister. They’ll make good skewers for a kebab.”

“Will we be allowed to eat kebabs, when out of the EU?”

“Aye, there’s a thing. It’ll no stop me goin’ there, or tae Spain fir ma holidays.”

By its regression to the Dark Ages England is telling us it’s not ready for the logical thinking of the kind the girl evinced. All its political parties are in turmoil. Politicians are puking everywhere, fearful of losing their job. England is split over dumping Europe. Maybe we should turn to Iceland’s currency.

Scotland, on the other hand, is evolving; has good leadership, and knows where it wants to be. We like co-operation with our neighbours. But we might have to be choosy when it comes to our independence, at least in the short-term. Know what I mean? Wink, wink.



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5 Responses to Pukesville, England

  1. bjsalba says:

    I don’t agree that the UK government is just as neoliberal as the EU. The EU is as neoliberal as its constituent member governments. As far as I can see, they are not by any means all one shade of neoliberalism. If anything, I would say that the UK Government is well to the right of the majority.

  2. Eeeeen says:

    I would agree and suggest that the rest of the EU has been playing catch-up with the UK’s neo-liberal/neo-conservative agenda since 1979. I’d be very surprised if all the worst things about the EU haven’t been proposed by and/or enthusiastically supported by a variety of HM’s Governments (when I say variety, I mean in the sense that since 1979 they’ve all been shades of Tory).

  3. jimnarlene says:

    The red dot map that’s, painting a depressing picture, tragic.

  4. Grouse Beater says:

    I believe England has shifted hard to the far Right – Greece’s Golden Dawn will be pleased.

  5. Justin Fayre says:

    Difficult question for you GB.
    I’ve just woken up after collecting from T in Park and am still raging.
    Woman in BMW holds up traffic to berate stewards for not moving barriers to allow her offspring to shortcut orchestrated exit.
    When official demanded she move she refused point blank even when threatened with police intervention.
    When informed that she was potentially forcing drivers onto boggy grassland to avoid her she responded with
    “So what, I’ve already been pulled out twice”
    A. What party does she vote for?
    B. What paper does she subscribe to and is at the moment penning a furious letter damning organisers, and ‘foreign stewards’?

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