England, Pure and Simple


England likes Ceylon because it grows best quality tea leaves, however…

Witnessing English politicians pontificating this month alone about liking non-English people so long as they don’t move into their street, and reading their utterances on Europeans in the press leaves one feeling that…

England hates all foreigners; the ‘Jocks’ are chippy, ‘uppity,’ ungrateful troublemakers; the Welsh are weak-kneed hymn gurglers; Northern Ireland can govern itself because it’s a horrid place; the Irish Republic is a land of potato snuffling, drunken poets; the Spanish  have garlic breath and say ‘thi, thi, thi for everything; the French are cowardly; the Italians are romantic loons; the Germans want to take over Europe again; the Greeks are poverty-stricken crooks; Switzerland does not count unless keeping taxes safe from the taxman; Norway, Sweden, and Demark think themselves Goody Two Shoes; the whole of Eastern Europe is a no-go area filled with potential immigrants who will take English jobs or mooch about on Welfare; the Middle East is only good for taking oil out or dropping bombs in; Russia is an Evil Empire; Africa is full of Aids, Ebola, disease carrying mosquitoes, and naked men and women who jump up and down clutching spears; China should buy all British over-priced cars and bugger off; all South American countries are drug-raddled murdering cartels who love democracy but elect dictators; the USA makes nice weapons but Americans are incapable of speaking English, and what is more, Mickey Mouse is black; Canada sent a stupid bank governor who said a shared currency was possible; Australia and New Zealand are only good for cricket games and not very good at that; India should give England back its call centres and take back Muslims and Hindus; Pakistan is happy to harbour terrorists; and Japan should keep making England’s porn.

A question:

Why doesn’t England declare bloody independence and just get on with it!

This entry was posted in General, Scottish Independence Referendum. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to England, Pure and Simple

  1. YESGUY says:


    That’s bound to hurt a few GB. One day the English electorate will wake up to the simple fact that they are the problem, voting in the same arses who have ruined the UK.

    As for the blame game… Yep the English love a scapegoat.

    WE have more anti-Scots bile due soon as May nears. The more the merrier i say as it reminds as “uppity Jocks” of the value of being better together.#

  2. Grouse Beater says:

    “I’m ready!” (SpongeBob Squarepants.) 🙂

  3. mary docherty says:

    Noo there’s an idea !!! English Independence !!!

  4. Wilty says:

    I think the answer to your question is probably “oil” 🙂

    As a Scot living and working in England, I also think you’re being a wee bit unfair on quite a lot of ordinary English people. Keep in mind that Scots – especially the ones who read your words – have been politically educated by the referendum. They have Wings to keep them informed of the lies they are being fed, and to show up the spin and double dealing going on behind the smooth face of the media. Blogs like your own, Wee Ginger Dug, and many others I have come to enjoy, provide analysis and comment. And all of it done with style, and plenty of humour to keep us interested.

    The English (apart from a few) don’t know about any of this. It’s available to them, but they have to find it first. Most of the people I know here are not racist, or bigots, or anti-Scottish. They are, sadly, far too ready to take the words of politicians and newsreaders at face value. Just like some Scots still do.

    PS. Thanks for the education, and keep up the good work!

  5. Bill says:

    Pot, Kettle, Black……

  6. Giving as good as we get!
    Nice work, GB!👍

  7. Grouse Beater says:

    Thanks, Wilty.

    When writing satire you point up the other party’s excesses, write it large. You don’t pull your punch by enumerating the exceptions. But sad to say, every sentence I have posted was uttered by some English person or other, and a great many who should know better.

  8. Grouse Beater says:

    Well, our English cousins – now including the House of Lords not at all happy with giving us the meagre Smith Commission proposals – keep demeaning every nation under the sun. So, why not be independent in every way and manner?

    ‘Just sayin,’ like’ – as they say on social websites. 😉

  9. jimnarlene says:

    A bit like Gandhi’s “Western civilisation, that would be a good idea”.

  10. Barry Rainey says:

    Yer not wrong grouse

  11. Grouse Beater says:

    Yer not wrong, Grouse.
    You’ll bring down the house,
    Church, state, and the law.
    Man, go oan yersel, yer braw!


  12. Hadaway the lads says:

    Why do you have a picture of Sporting Lisbon with a Nazi flag above? And pictures of Glasgow Rangers supporters? Doesn’t make any sense? Neither are English?

  13. Grouse Beater says:

    Because among them are ‘British’ supporters flying those flags. Because fascism is on the rise again born out of government policies, and inflamed by some politicians. We have EDL and Orange Lodge here who identify with the worst of ‘British’ values. I can’t think of a single intelligent person in Scotland who would wish to be associated with that warped ideology, but without self-governance it is harder to protect society against creeping authoritarianism and loss of civil rights.

  14. Hadaway the lads says:

    British supporters in Lisbon? You do know that’s in Portugal?

  15. Grouse Beater says:

    When severe austerity measures are forced on to a long recession, when a government switches justified blame from crooked bankers onto defenceless welfare recipients, and in addition, allows tens of thousands of young people to be unemployed – all for ideological reasons – the result is anger and frustration. We have seen the same thing happen in many countries, to traumatic effect in some south American states. Neo-liberals will point out it all came to success despite terrible hardships, and lost livelihoods, careers and hopes. But then, neo-liberals always shift the emphasis in argument to suit their agenda. It is almost impossible to pin them down when demonstrating they are destroying stability.

    There has to be a different way of distributing wealth that isn’t upwards. There IS a different way. Currently we don’t hold enough power to change things, although Scotland is trying as hard as it can.

    Change comes through grass roots movements that are positive led, not negative fed.

    I hear what you are saying about football fans, but sadly, a lot of that wild anger is vented in football stands. Portugal has its fascist party like Spain, (semi-dormant since Franco’s death) like Germany too, and of course the rise of Golden Dawn in Greece.

  16. Hadaway the lads says:

    Nope, sorry am really confused now. I get the fascist thing across Europe but the post is entirely about England? The heading is ‘England pure and simple?’ What do Portuguese and Scottish football fans (actually I think they may be Ukranian or Russian in the green and white?) have to do with England? I thought there might be a deeper allusion?

  17. Grouse Beater says:

    I get the fascist thing across Europe but the post is entirely about England?

    Are you arguing England doesn’t export its worst traits, or share fascists solidarity with other national groups? Because that is the outcome of disliking foreigners.

    Photographs aside, do you agree with the statements in the essay? Have they any meaning for you? No?

    They have for many people in Scotland, and some are English who want nothing to do with English extremism.

  18. As painful as it is to spread their word, this provides confirmation of the collaboration between fascist factions across Europe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkn56hDMNjY

  19. Grouse Beater says:

    Thanks, Graham. Disheartening to see how fascists get together. The only way to combat it is to invest in a better society that creates careers, vocations, and jobs, otherwise the right-wing will suggest its traditional solution – conscription for youth, and more wars to accommodate them.

  20. gmacq says:

    The following link discusses the connection between the Royal Family and Nazi Germany and briefly refers to the support of Nazism in Spain, Portugal. Prince Philip, remember, is of Greek descent, too. Far right supporters in Greece are in strong favour of a return of the Greek monarchy, which was abolished in ’73.

    A channel 4 documentary called The Queens Mother-In-Law shows scenes of Philip with his 3 brothers-in-law in their Nazi regalia attending the funeral of his 4th sister and her husband.
    The Royal Family are, without doubt, the epitome of fascism. In my eyes, it is therefor legitimate to say that any ardent supporter of the Union can be tarred with the same brush. The remainder are simply unaware of the true reality of our society and how neo-liberilism is the modern means of achieving the same goals; rule by stealth!

  21. gmacq says:

    Absolutely so! However, in order to achieve such goal people the world over need to realise the true nature of the lies we deem as reality. It is encouraging though the leaps that have been made in recent years and how people are coming to connect the dots!

  22. Grouse Beater says:

    Food for thought, gmacq.

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